Be modest

Self-promotion is never something which has come easily to me. I think most of us are like that, really – the product of being told as children that we shouldn't show off; that we should be modest about our talents; that we shouldn't let on that Mrs Edwards said at parents' evening that we were better at English than our best friend. (That last one might just have been me).

It seems that restaurants also have these worries:

No, no, don't put five stars for food and service! That looks boastful! No, three looks like we think we're rubbish. Put four. We're good, but we're modest.

Is there parking?

I don't own a car but, if I did, I imagine one of my major concerns would be finding a space in which to park it. London isn't really known for its abundance of cheap parking, you see. Fortunately, one of my local takeaways is sympathetic to these worries and only too ready to reassure:

Er... where?

Lost and found

Don't you just hate it when you lose something? Like, say, a letter of the alphabet?

Now where did I put that second "e" at the end of Tennessee?

But isn't it such a lovely relief when you find the lost item?

Ah! There it is! Hmmm... along with a random "s".

Check the Score on the Doors

Remember the days when it was tough to judge whether or not a takeaway joint would give you food poisoning? You had to make your own judgements as to whether that mouse trap in the corner meant that what you thought were cumin seeds in your naan bread were in fact rodent droppings.

Fortunately, those days are long gone. Now there's the Scores on the Doors system. But sometimes proudly displaying your hygiene stars on the door of your establishment isn't enough. Sometimes you are just so damn hygienic that you have to shout it from the proverbial rooftops as well as from your non-proverbial front door:

Taste that hygiene!