If, like me, your knowledge of human behaviour comes primarily from US television series then you'll be familiar with the concept of one lie meaning many lies. The essential idea is that if a person is lying about one thing, chances are that they are lying about other things. And if the initial lie is a big'un, it's likely the subsequent ones are too.
I've noticed that a similar principle applies to takeaway menus. Spot one mistake and chances are you'll soon spot another. Spot an absolutely massive mistake, and it's almost certain that you'll uncover an even bigger blunder just a moment later.
No menu better demonstrates this rule than one for a nearby fish and chip/pizza/kebab/pie/chicken restaurant. I will be sharing every delight from this wonderful document in due course but I've decided to start with one my brother spotted while staying with me this past weekend. If I tell you I hadn't previously noticed it you'll understand the extent to which this menu is chock-full of nonsense.
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| Mmmm, lovely 'n' soggy... |
"Hello? Yes, I'd like to order one of your seafood pizzas but I notice that you say the base might be bit soggy. I was just wondering: will the cheese be mouldy? OK, great. And will the tomato sauce consist mostly of out-of-date ketchup? Excellent. And will the fish be full of bones? Brilliant! One Seafood Delight, please!"
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